Quick answer
Making friends abroad rarely happens by accident. It takes showing up to the same class, activity or language exchange more than once, saying yes to invitations even when tired, and accepting that the first two weeks feel lonely for almost everyone who moves somewhere new. That is normal, and it usually passes.
Making friends abroad rarely happens by accident. It takes showing up to the same class, activity or language exchange more than once, saying yes to the second invitation even when you are tired, and accepting that the first two weeks feel lonely for almost everyone who moves somewhere new to study. That is normal, not a sign you are doing something wrong, and it usually passes faster than people expect once they stop waiting for it to happen on its own.
In this article
Why Does Nobody Warn You About the Loneliness?
Because the marketing photos show group dinners and beach days, not the Tuesday evening in week one when your Spanish is not good enough to follow a fast group conversation and you eat alone instead of asking to join anyone. Study abroad content sells the highlight reel; it rarely mentions the adjustment period that comes before it. Most students experience some version of this in the first ten to fourteen days: everyone else seems to already know each other, your language skills feel like a wall rather than a bridge, and going home starts to sound appealing even though you have barely arrived.
It is worth naming this plainly, because expecting it changes how you respond to it. Loneliness in week one is a normal part of the process, not evidence that this particular course, city or group of people is wrong for you.
Why Is It Harder to Make Friends as an Adult Abroad?
Because the structures that made friendships easy earlier in life, shared classes for years at a time, clubs you were placed into, neighbours you saw daily, mostly do not exist once you are studying abroad as an adult. Friendship at this stage requires more deliberate effort: showing up repeatedly to the same place, initiating plans rather than waiting for one, and tolerating the awkwardness of early conversations in a language you are still learning. None of that is a personal failing. It is simply what adult friendship formation looks like, at home or abroad, and language school students who understand this going in adjust faster than those who expect it to feel automatic.
What Actually Works to Meet People in the First Week?
A small, unglamorous set of habits, repeated, beats any single big event. In order of what tends to work fastest:
- Sit with classmates at break, every day, not only when you feel confident. The awkward first few times are what make the fifth time easy.
- Say yes to the first invitation, even a low-key one, since declining early invitations is the fastest way to stop receiving them.
- Go to organised activities alone rather than waiting to have someone to go with. Everyone else at a school-run tapas night or language exchange is there for the same reason you are.
- Ask one direct question, “want to grab a coffee after class”, rather than a vague “we should hang out sometime”, which rarely turns into a real plan.
- Return to the same cafe or bar two or three times. Familiar staff and regulars start to feel like a small anchor point faster than most people expect.
Do Language Exchanges Actually Help You Make Friends?
Often, yes, more reliably than most students expect before trying one. A language exchange puts you in a room specifically built around talking to strangers, which removes the usual excuse for not starting a conversation. The Spanish speakers attending are typically there because they want to practise English or another language, which means the awkwardness runs in both directions and nobody has the upper hand. Many friendships that start this way begin as language practice and turn into something more once the initial reason for talking stops being necessary.
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The honest caveat: not every exchange has good chemistry, and a quiet one does not mean the format does not work, it means try a different one or a different week. Consistency across a few sessions matters more than judging a single visit.
Should You Spend Time With People From Your Own Country?
Some, deliberately limited, is fine and even useful; entirely avoiding your own language group can be as isolating as only sticking with it. The honest answer is that a mix works best: enough time with people who share your first language to decompress and feel understood without translating every joke, and enough deliberate time in Spanish, with classmates, host families, language exchange partners, that your actual reason for being there does not get crowded out. Students who go to the opposite extreme and refuse all contact with fellow English speakers to force immersion often burn out from the pressure faster than students who allow themselves a reasonable balance.
Does the City You Choose Change How Easy This Is?
Somewhat. A smaller, walkable city where students tend to cluster in the same few neighbourhoods, Málaga’s old town and beachfront areas among them, makes repeat run-ins with the same faces more likely than a sprawling capital where classmates scatter across the city after class. That matters more than people expect, since the habits above, sitting with classmates, returning to the same cafe, showing up to the same weekly activity, all work faster when distances are short and the same people keep crossing your path by coincidence as well as by plan.
None of this means a bigger city makes friendship impossible, only that it takes slightly more deliberate effort to engineer the repeat encounters that happen more naturally somewhere smaller.
What Should You Do When It Is Genuinely Hard, Not Just Awkward?
Talk to someone, rather than sitting with it alone. A quiet first week is normal; weeks of persistent isolation, low mood, or wanting to leave the course entirely is worth raising with your school, a teacher, or a program coordinator, who has almost certainly seen this before and can point you toward other students in a similar position or local support. If the feeling is severe or does not improve, this is also a conversation for a doctor or a mental health professional, not something to push through alone on the assumption it will simply pass.
How Long Does It Usually Take to Feel Settled?
| Timeframe | What is typical |
|---|---|
| Week 1 | Disorientation is common; most students feel some loneliness |
| Weeks 2 to 3 | Familiar faces start to form; first real friendships often begin here |
| Week 4 and beyond | A regular routine and social circle usually take shape |
| Ongoing | Confidence in Spanish and social ease tend to grow together |
These are general patterns rather than guarantees; course length, personality, and how much effort goes into showing up all shift the timeline.
Small classes make the first week easier.
Our Málaga courses run in small groups, with regular social activities and language exchange events built into the calendar, so you are not left to figure out the social side alone.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to feel lonely during the first week of studying abroad?
Yes, very. Most students experience some version of it, particularly in the first ten to fourteen days, and it is one of the most common experiences of studying abroad, even though it is rarely discussed openly beforehand.
How do you make friends if your Spanish is not good yet?
Lean on shared activities rather than fluent conversation. Sitting together, doing something together, a class, a walk, a meal, builds familiarity even with limited language, and conversation naturally becomes easier as both your Spanish and your comfort with the group grow together.
Should you room with people from your own country or with locals?
Either can work, and it depends more on you than on a universal rule. A host family or local roommates push more consistent Spanish practice; sharing with people from home offers more comfort early on. Neither choice guarantees friendships or loneliness on its own.
What if you are still lonely after a month?
Raise it with your school. A month of ongoing isolation is longer than the typical adjustment period, and a teacher or coordinator can usually connect you with other students, activities, or support you have not yet tried. If low mood persists, speak with a doctor or mental health professional rather than waiting it out alone.
