Learning Spanish for Latin American In-Laws in Toronto

Your partner is Colombian, Mexican, Peruvian or Salvadoran, their parents live in Toronto or fly in every Christmas, and you sit at the family table smiling while everyone laughs at a joke you missed. That is the most common private reason Toronto adults give for learning Spanish, and it is a good one, because the goal is clear: follow a family conversation and join in. This guide uses the 2021 Census to show how common mixed-language families are in Toronto, gives you the first 60 phrases for a family dinner, settles the usted or tú question with in-laws, explains whether the family’s country matters, and tells you how long it realistically takes.

How common are mixed-language families in Toronto?

Very common, and growing. The City of Toronto’s 2021 Census backgrounder on language reports that 5.4 percent of Toronto residents identified English and a non-official language as their multiple mother tongues, up from 3.4 percent in 2016, and that 35,750 residents speak more than one non-official language at home. Spanish is the fourth most spoken home language in the city after Mandarin, Cantonese and Tagalog, and the number of Spanish speakers at home grew 12 percent between 2016 and 2021, so a Toronto family where Spanish and English share the dinner table is now ordinary.

Where do you stand today? Take the free six-minute Spanish level test. It is optional, there is no payment, and it gives you an honest A1 to C2 placement before the next family visit.

The same backgrounder counts 78,575 Toronto residents with Spanish as a mother tongue, 2.8 percent of the city and 7.9 percent more than in 2016, and 46,355 who speak Spanish most often at home. Overall, 44.9 percent of Toronto residents speak at least one non-official language at home. Those are the parents, grandparents, aunts and cousins you are trying to talk to.

A Statistics Canada study from 2006, “Passing on the ancestral language” by Martin Turcotte, adds a detail that matters for your relationship: Spanish is one of the languages Canadian immigrant families keep most strongly. Using the 2002 Ethnic Diversity Survey, it found the predicted probability that a Canadian-born child of Spanish-speaking immigrants learned Spanish first was 87 percent, and that 94 percent could hold a conversation in it. In other words, your partner almost certainly speaks Spanish with their parents, and your future children may too. The guide to raising bilingual kids in Toronto picks up that thread.

Where do you stand today? Take the free six-minute Spanish level test. It is optional, there is no payment, and it gives you an honest A1 to C2 placement before the next family visit.

What should you learn first for a family dinner in Spanish?

Learn the phrases that happen at every dinner before you learn any grammar: greetings and goodbyes, compliments on the food, offers and refusals, questions about family and health, and the three or four lines that let you ask for a repeat without breaking the mood. Sixty phrases cover a typical evening. Memorise them as whole sentences; you will be understood even if you could not conjugate a single verb on paper.

The first sixty, grouped by moment:

• Arriving: Hola, ¿cómo está? (formal hello). Mucho gusto. Gracias por invitarme. ¡Qué linda casa! ¿Cómo están todos? Tanto tiempo sin verlos. Les traje algo. Con permiso (when passing or entering).
• At the table: ¡Qué rico! Está delicioso. ¿Qué es esto? ¿Cómo se hace? ¿Me pasa la sal, por favor? Un poquito más, por favor. No, gracias, estoy lleno / llena. ¿Puedo ayudar? Salud. Buen provecho.
• Family questions: ¿Cómo está su mamá? ¿Y los niños? ¿Cómo va el trabajo? ¿Cuándo llegaron a Canadá? ¿De qué parte de Colombia son? ¿Extrañan a la familia? ¿Qué tal el viaje?
• Keeping up: ¿Puede repetir, por favor? Más despacio, por favor. No entendí. ¿Cómo se dice… en español? Estoy aprendiendo. Perdón, mi español es básico. ¿Qué significa…?
• Reacting: ¿En serio? ¡No me diga! Qué bueno. Qué pena. Claro. Tiene razón. Me imagino. Qué gracioso.
• Leaving: Muchas gracias por todo. Estuvo riquísimo. Nos vemos pronto. Saludos a la familia. Cuídense. Que descansen. Hasta la próxima. Buenas noches.

Add the family’s own names for relatives: suegro and suegra (father- and mother-in-law), cuñado and cuñada (brother- and sister-in-law), yerno (son-in-law), nuera (daughter-in-law), sobrino and sobrina (nephew, niece), and abuelo and abuela. Get the nationality words right too: a person from Peru is peruano, from Colombia colombiano, from El Salvador salvadoreño.

Learn with your partner. Private group classes for 2 to 10 people, friends, family or colleagues, start from CAD 16.32 per person per hour, so a couple or a couple plus the kids can share one teacher and one schedule.

Should you use usted or tú with your in-laws?

Learn with your partner. Private group classes for 2 to 10 people, friends, family or colleagues, start from CAD 16.32 per person per hour, so a couple or a couple plus the kids can share one teacher and one schedule.

Start with usted for parents and grandparents, and switch only when they invite you to. In most Latin American families, a son- or daughter-in-law addressing the parents as usted on first meeting reads as respect, never as coldness, and the older generation will tell you when to relax: tutéame or háblame de tú means you have been promoted. Siblings and cousins of your own age are usually tú from the start.

Country matters here. Colombians, Costa Ricans and many Central Americans use usted even inside the family, including between parents and children, so hearing your partner call their mother usted is not a sign of distance. Mexicans and Peruvians generally use tú within the family but usted with elders outside it. Argentines and Uruguayans use vos instead of tú, with its own verb forms (vos sos rather than tú eres), as the main site’s guide to Spain versus Latin American Spanish explains. When in doubt, usted is never wrong with an elder; tú with the wrong grandmother can be.

Does it matter whether the family is Mexican, Colombian or Peruvian?

For understanding, yes; for learning, no. The grammar and the written language are the same across the Spanish-speaking world, so any good course prepares you for any family. What changes between countries is pronunciation, speed, some everyday vocabulary and the slang the family uses when relaxed. Learn neutral Latin American Spanish first, then ask your teacher to add the family’s country for listening practice and the words that only they use.

The main-site comparison gives the practical examples: Latin America uses ustedes for all plural “you”, never Spain’s vosotros; a car is carro or auto rather than Spain’s coche; a phone is celular; and Latin Americans tend to say comí (I ate) where Spaniards say he comido. One warning from that guide worth taking seriously at a family table: coger, an ordinary verb for “to take” in Spain, is vulgar in Mexico and Argentina. Use tomar or agarrar instead. If the family is Mexican, the 20 Mexican sayings post will explain half the jokes you have been missing.

How long before you can follow a family conversation?

Following a relaxed family conversation, with several people talking over each other, is a B1 skill, and most Toronto adults reach a working B1 in roughly 150 to 200 guided hours spread over a year, with regular exposure to the family in between. Joining in with short comments and questions comes earlier: the 60 phrases above plus an A2 foundation, about 60 to 100 hours, is enough to stop being a silent guest.

A realistic timeline for a Toronto learner with a Latin American partner:

1. Months 1 to 3 (A1): the 60 phrases, numbers, days, family vocabulary, present tense. You greet everyone properly and compliment the food in Spanish.
2. Months 4 to 8 (A2): past tenses for stories, questions about the family’s history, food and city vocabulary. You follow one-to-one conversations with a patient relative.
3. Months 9 to 14 (B1): listening to fast speech, jokes, opinions, the subjunctive for wishes and advice. You follow the group and join in without your partner translating.

Your biggest advantage over other learners is free, patient practice at every visit. Your biggest risk is that everyone switches to English to be kind. Ask the family, in Spanish, to keep speaking Spanish to you: háblenme en español, por favor, estoy aprendiendo. They will be delighted. The guide for Latin American newcomers to Toronto may also help you understand what your in-laws went through when they arrived, which is often the conversation that matters most.

Key facts

• 5.4 percent of Toronto residents reported English and a non-official language as multiple mother tongues in 2021, up from 3.4 percent in 2016 (City of Toronto, 2021 Census backgrounder).
• 35,750 Toronto residents speak multiple non-official languages at home; 44.9 percent speak at least one non-official language at home (same source).
• Spanish: 78,575 Toronto residents by mother tongue (fourth, 2.8 percent, up 7.9 percent since 2016) and 46,355 by home language (fourth, up 11.6 percent) (same source).
• Canadian-born children of Spanish-speaking immigrants: 87 percent predicted probability of learning Spanish first, 94 percent able to converse in it (Statistics Canada, Canadian Social Trends, Spring 2006, 2002 Ethnic Diversity Survey).
• Vamos Academy Toronto private groups: 2 to 10 people from CAD 16.32 per person per hour; at-home lessons in the City of Toronto from 10 hours for CAD 700.

Learning as a couple or with the kids

The fastest learners in this situation are couples who study together, because the Spanish-speaking partner stops translating and starts coaching. Vamos Academy Toronto offers two ways to do that. Spanish lessons at your home bring a certified native teacher to you anywhere in the City of Toronto, in packs from 10 hours for CAD 700 to 50 hours for CAD 3,100, and children from age 4 can join at the same prices, which turns a lesson into a family event the grandparents will ask about. For one-to-one work on listening and pronunciation around your own schedule, private Spanish lessons in Toronto run any day from 9 am to 9 pm. Where the family lives also shapes the practice you get; the guide to Latin American neighbourhoods in Toronto shows where to shop, eat and overhear the Spanish they speak at home.

Next family visit in sight? Take the free level test, then book your first lesson or tell the Toronto office on WhatsApp which country the family is from, and the Academic Director will match you with a teacher who speaks that Spanish.

Next family visit in sight? Take the free level test, then book your first lesson or tell the Toronto office on WhatsApp which country the family is from, and the Academic Director will match you with a teacher who speaks that Spanish.